5 weeks. It’s been 5 weeks since we drove our daughter to a treatment facility about 7 hours away. 5 weeks since we began the process of healing without distraction. So much has happened in those 5 weeks!
Derek and I admitted Jentri into her placement with little fanfare. For the purpose of confidentiality of the other kids there, we weren’t allowed access to the campus. It’s literally the most unnerving thing we’ve ever done: to trust complete strangers with one of our children miles and miles away from us with little to no contact. But the prayers you all covered us in gave us the strength to give hugs and kisses and then return home to our other children. Thank you. 🙂
The first few weeks, we all slept more and pushed to get through the last few holiday requirements. We had a quiet Christmas- the first in almost a decade that didn’t include severe and significant behaviors from Jentri. It was then that we realized Cohen has no true memories of life prior to that… Since then, in our newly rested state, we have found a new appreciation for peace and laughter. Derek and I are witnessing the lights turn back on in our children’s eyes. They aren’t just surviving, they are learning to thrive! What an enormous blessing!! And Derek and I? Well, we still can’t quite get date night to work out, but we are enjoying conversations that don’t only revolve around treatment options, DFS investigations, and crisis plans. We are incredibly thankful to still be playing on the same team. 😍
We get to speak with Jentri twice a week by phone. The calls aren’t full of substance, but they are helpful to maintain connection as best as possible. Her time at the facility has not been great. We try to remind ourselves daily that this is just one stop along the path of treatment. She will not come home healed and will likely return having been exposed to so many of the things we’ve been trying to protect her from for so long. Our hearts are hurting on a level new to us: we can’t protect her from the world AND, though we want her home, we know she isn’t ready to return. Ugh. I just keep saying, “she’s only 10!”
You might notice that we are spending a lot of time purging things from our home. We feel a great need to simplify things as much as possible while we have the time to do so.
As a family, we are in awe of the ways so many of you have loved on our family in the last 5 weeks. Please forgive us when we don’t know how to answer the question, “what do you need?” Here are some things to note:
Prayer Requests:
Derek and I were supposed to get to visit Jentri in person this past weekend. Unfortunately, her location was hit with intense ice and our trip had to be canceled. 😭We were all really bummed. We have rescheduled for a few weeks from now. Prayers for travel safety and weather mercies!
Jentri’s school here at home. It has come to our attention that they (generally) don’t believe Derek and I about what is going on with Jentri. Because of this, situations that have come up were handled in direct opposition to what we requested. We have bent over backwards trying to educate them on Jentri’s very rare condition. Being met with skepticism and disbelief is heartbreaking. Should Jentri return home before the end of the school year, we need prayers for how to proceed with her education until summer.
We know Jentri will need to return to treatment. We also know that it MUST be somewhere specialized to reactive attachment disorder. The cost is the largest prohibitive factor ($300,000+). It would be great if there was another answer, but in the 8 years we’ve walked this path, there just isn’t.
Jentri’s fortitude. She has been assaulted on multiple occasions while gone. But this kid loves Jesus in spite of her trauma. In spite of the distance. In spite of the assaults. Help us pray that she won’t lose her love for Jesus while learning how to be loved by her own family.
Prayers Answered:
We found Lydia a car! That’s a huge weight lifted from our shoulders that we wanted to address before Jentri returned.
Our roof has been fixed!
Several of you have offered meal trains and we are so thankful for that option! We have asked to push pause on that until Jentri returns home. Right now, as we all continue to thrive, cooking is such a blessing between us! The kids have always loved to cook so we want to continue growing them in that way. When Jentri returns, and our attention all becomes more intensely split, a meal train would be a huge blessing.
Friends have been kind to Venmo money to help with travel- and even making personal phone calls to offset the costs.
We are surrounded by people willing to know and love us in unexpected ways. Through connections with hundreds of RAD families across the country, it has become abundantly clear that so many are left to navigate this road alone. They have no support, no one believes them about what is happening in their own homes, and they feel completely abandoned aftering having made the selfless decision to adopt. YOU are amazing. We CANNOT do this without you. Thank you from the very bottom of our hearts.❤️💜🧡