7 weeks. 50 days. We haven’t been away from Jentri this long since she came to our home from foster care 8 years ago. It’s a very long time. 

It seems like so much, and yet so little, has happened in that time. The 3 kids at home are really thriving. We have all been making up for lost time and are continuing to heal. We have so many conversations- Why treatment hasn’t worked and will it ever? When will we feel safe for our family to be all under the same roof again? The confusing aspect of being a “family of 6” but there are only 5 of us connected and bonded to each other in a healthy way. So, you know, super easy conversations. 😆

As far as treatment progress goes, I wish I had better news to share. I am thankful, however, for the conversation I got to have a few days ago with the head nurse overseeing Jentri’s day-to-day care and her therapist. Bottom line: neither of them have ever worked with a patient like our daughter. Trauma is NOT the same as reactive attachment disorder. ODD is NOT the same as reactive attachment disorder. What works with these kids has almost the opposite effect on kids with RAD. When I asked if they were open to me sharing various resources that might help them to understand Jentri and RAD better, both eagerly said YES! Believe it or not, other facilities have black balled our daughter from returning to their programs because they refused to allow us to even ask questions about her treatment- let alone provide resources we know could provide insight into appropriate treatment. Having other professionals PARTNER with us, instead of alienating us is new and welcomed. But it also means we are still far below even ground zero at this time. 

Prayer requests:

• Jentri to not be forgotten. This has been heavy on my heart recently. She didn’t ask for this life. But she does have to choose treatment. Check out the “Ways to Support” section below for a way to share well wishes to Jentri.
• Travel mercies for Derek and I as we attempt a trip to see Jentri this weekend. Remember that the last time we tried we got iced out and had to cancel. She’s homesick and Derek and I need to be able to have a good visit and return home safely to our lives back here.

Ways to support our family:

• There is an annual small conference for parents raising children with RAD in April. We tried to get help from the state to go last year (and the year before) because it was in KC, but were denied. We feel strongly that being with multiple experts and being in the company of parents who know EXACTLY what we are going through is invaluable. However, now the conference is in San Antonio, TX… 

The breakdown of the conference is:

• $690 for both of us to attend
• $1100 to fly (Approximately. We need to fly to save as many of our vacation days as possible to visit Jentri.)
• $210 meals (7 total meals)
• $575 hotel 
• $75 transportation to and from airport
• TOTAL: $2650 (approximately)

Do you happen to have airline miles you don’t plan to use soon? Those would be a huge help in making the conference possible. 

Jentri can only receive mail directly from Derek and I. If you would like for us to deliver a card to her when we go this weekend, please do one of the following:

Send an email with your message to [email protected]. We will print these out and put them in one envelope together for her desk.

• • If you know where we live, drop it in our mailbox or at our front door (wave high to the doorbell camera while you’re there!)

A few things to note: Jentri loves Jesus so you are welcome to include Bible verses and spiritual encouragement. Please keep notes short and mostly centered around “wishing you well” and/or “praying for you”. When in doubt, look up corny jokes or funny memes. She needs to know that although you KNOW what’s going on, you are still cheering her on!

Please DO NOT include sentiments like “God gives us what we can handle.” I promise, those messages will be filtered out. God didn’t do this. Humans did. 

Please know, we are not financially destitute, though we are stretched trying to make all things work. We are offering ways to partner with us in raising Jentri, a child once abandoned and now struggling to thrive. We hope that our hearts to be her family through that struggle are seen and that you, too, are willing to march arm in arm alongside us in that effort. Not all are able to adopt, especially a child with special needs. But whether through thoughts, prayers, financial support, airline miles, dinner- among so many other ways!- we are thankful for you. For being willing to be on this journey with us. To read our updates. To know AND still love us. We love you, too. ❤️